The earliest clue that learning challenges may be in the mix is when we, as parents, have concerns about our child’s behavior or academic performance related to school including conflicts about getting homework done, talking too much in class, being the “class clown” or protesting about going to school. School is a significant part of a child’s life and development, giving him/her a sense of where they fit in the world compared to peers, their goodness in achieving their potential and meeting their parent’s expectations…

Instead of happiness being the goal for our children, we should consider the goal to be resilience. I think of it like endurance. To run the marathon or lift weights, one needs to practice. Little by little, capacity is expanded, so the goal is reached. Along the way, measurable progress and encouragement keep us on track. Similarly, the emotional growth that builds resilience must be incrementally acquired. Little by little, challenges are faced – the disappointment that your ice cream fell off the cone, losing at Candyland, or not getting invited to someone’s birthday party…

It often comes to mind when I am working with parents. How do we as parents manage our child’s struggles? When is it the right time to intervene? Some children are vocal and demanding which may drive a parent to take action and to resolve the problem too quickly. However, there is often a cost in the long run in that this response can teach children the lesson that if they scream loud enough, someone else will fix it for them. This interferes with children’s efforts to figure out how to solve their own struggles and move beyond their “stuck” spots…