What is Behind the Rigidty in Your Child

- by Debra Kessler, Psy.D. -

Do you know the moment when your child turns into a mule? They dig their heels in, saying "no" and refusing to move. Or maybe your child vehemently complains when you have to add a stop on your way home after picking them up from school. Some kids really like routines and what is familiar! This is called rigidity and affects how children go about their daily lives. Let's explore rigidity, why it happens, and how we can help kids be more flexible!

What is Rigidity?

Rigidity means being very strict or inflexible about routines and schedules. I imagine a toy that only moves in one direction. It's like how some kids feel when they want everything to stay the same. They might get upset or anxious if something changes, even a little bit.

Why Does Rigidity Happen?

1. Developmental Stages

As kids grow, they go through different stages of development. Y younger children, especially, often feel safer when things are predictable. They might want to play with the same toys or follow the same routine every day.

2. Anxiety and Stress

Some kids feel anxious or worried about changes. Their discomfort can make them want to stick to what they know best. For example, if they are nervous about going to a new school, they might want to do things the same way every day to feel more secure.

3. Sensory Processing Issues

Some children have sensory processing issues, which means they may be extra sensitive to sounds, lights, smells or textures. These kids might prefer familiar environments because new things can feel overwhelming.

4. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

For some kids on the autism spectrum, rigidity is a common trait. They may find comfort in routines and struggle with changes. It's essential to be understood and supportive.

5. Parenting Styles

Sometimes, the way parents raise their children can affect their flexibility. If parents are very strict about routines, children might also learn to be rigid, which is linked to family values, safety, and acceptability.

How Can We Help?

- Introduce Changes Slowly

If you need to change something in your child's routine, try to do it gradually. For example, if you want them to wake up earlier, start by waking them up just a few minutes earlier each day.

- Prepare for Changes-

Talk to your child about any upcoming changes. If you visit a new place, let them know what to expect. You could even use pictures or a schedule to help them visualize the day.

- Encourage Problem-Solving

Play games that require teamwork and creative thinking. This can help kids learn to adapt and find new solutions when things are unplanned.

Explore and identify the things that support a sense of familiarity and comfort. Preferred clothing items, objects, or familiar scents may ease the discomfort.

- Seek Professional Help

If rigidity is causing a lot of problems, it might be a good idea to talk to a teacher or a psychologist. They can provide guidance and support.

Understanding rigidity in children is essential. It helps us understand why some kids may struggle with changes and routines. We can help them feel more comfortable and confident in different situations by supporting them and encouraging flexibility.

Call to Action

Have you noticed rigidity in your daily life? Share your experiences or tips with friends or family! We can learn how to help each other be more flexible and adaptable.