Jenga: A Metaphor for Understanding Dysregulation
- by Debra Kessler, Psy.D. -
Understanding dysregulation is crucial for maintaining mental and physical well-being. But what exactly is dysregulation?
When we talk about dysregulation, what do you picture? It's often a way to label a meltdown, a rage, or a moment when someone loses control. But dysregulation is more than that. It's a state of instability that can affect our lives. And there's not just one type of dysregulation. Our stability, flexibility, and balance are like a Jenga tower that is solid when all the pieces are in place, but as they get removed and placed on top, it becomes more vulnerable to collapse.
First and foremost, let's consider our bodies. Illness, pain, lack of sleep, food, water, or air cause stress and challenge our body's regulation. More subtle things can be constipation, blood sugar instability, or seasonal or food allergies. When we are ill, like with COVID-19 or cancer, are in severe pain, struggling with an allergy attack, or have a sugar crash, we get the message that our body is spinning out of control. These signals alert us to act. Sometimes, it is a quick fix. Other times, it just plainly takes us offline, we are physiologically dysregulated. Then there are those times when we push through "minor" inconveniences, despite being hungry or tired, to get something done. We may not be dysregulated physiologically, but we are more vulnerable, like the foundational blocks of the Jenga tower have been removed, making it less stable.
Next, it is essential to attend to sensory dysregulation. Being bombarded by streams of sensory input can be overwhelming, pushing your balance to the edge. Being in a loud, chaotic mob of people at a rave may cause a meltdown for some, while others embrace it. Spicy food and strong smells similarly can be pleasurable to some and aversive to others. Consequently, you can be dysregulated by elements in your sensory environment. Alternatively, you could tolerate it, like taking your kids to a carnival for an hour, despite your personal discomfort in such settings. While there are choice points in the environments you may choose to be in as an adult, this is not true for a child. At the tipping point, sensory challenges show up as irritability, anxiety, boredom, or restlessness. When sensory input is uncomfortable, more blocks at the lower level of the Jenga structure get removed.
Cognitive challenges can be a significant stumbling block as you engage in the world to get things done or interacting with others. Sitting down to do taxes or getting homework done or being socially skillful requires clear thinking and focus. Racing thoughts or distractibility may make it difficult to make any progress. Cognitive dysregulation interferes with flexibility, creativity, and balance. You may be able to manage distractions, apply yourself when your concentration is the best, and pace your effort to match your bandwidth. These compromised times make it more difficult to see a strategy for balancing the placement of the blocks on the top of the Jenga structure without toppling it when a new challenge arises,
Finally, there is emotional dysregulation. Often talked about first, the essential message here is to honor the instabilities that increase the likelihood of emotional dysregulation. Emotions are the internal guidance system that informs us about what is safe, challenging, or dangerous. Sadness about loss, social challenges, and anger at someone invading your space are all valuable emotions that help us take care of ourselves. Recognizing the value of these emotions can make us feel more validated and understood in our experiences. Feeling these emotions is okay; they serve a purpose in our lives. However, when our guidance system gets jammed because of the moment's intensity, the entire Jenga tower can tumble under the weight of emotional dysregulation.
In summary, the idea of dysregulation justifies digging deeper. While the 54 Jenga pieces scattered around are a mess, the causes vary. Was the structure already unstable? Were there health or physiological challenges? What was the sensory environment like? Is there a mismatch between the demand to get things done and the ability to focus? Are there past emotional memories intruding into the present? All these areas are interconnected: our bodies, sensations, emotions, and thinking. When there is vulnerability in the system, it may take a gentle nudge for the tower to fall. And, even when the structure is solid, a sharp jar will likely make it tumble. No matter why, when it tumbles, thinking gets scrambled, bodies get hijacked into shutdown, fight, flight, or frantic frenzy to survive, and some sensory experiences become intensified while others get blocked. Awareness of this interconnectedness is powerful as it opens the door to more understanding and options to support stability, balance, and flexibility at every level of the "Jenga tower" of our function.